Commando stalking BritneyImagine you spent 5 years in one of the IDF’s most elite units. As a Navy Commando you stood above the rest of your peers, having been taught ever manner of exotic warcraft, from advanced scuba diving, to special weapons and tactics, you name it, you’re an expert. A bad ass in every sense but not a psycho, having been imbued more than most with the IDF’s notion of purity of arms.

Once you leave the army you will be presented with a wealth of career opportunities as befits Israel’s best. And like many of your peers you may want to cast your gaze over to Babylon and see the riches that await one such as yourself. You may choose to become… the bailiff to the stars! Read on:

KEVIN Federline’s lawyer is going for the jugular in the custody battle for his two sons with Britney Spears — and has drafted an ex-Israeli commando to help… Mark Vincent Kaplan sent security expert Aaron Cohen to subpoena Spears’ assistant and cousin, Alli Sims, and music producer Jonathan (JR) Rotem, to face questions on Spears’ alleged erratic, sometimes dangerous, parenting… Cohen caught the pair at a Hollywood Hills bash at 2.30am, local time. Inside was Spears, said to be furious.

Good one Aaron Cohen, whoever you are. Your parents are probably very proud of you and I for one am thrilled, thrilled, to see how well you have put your training to use. Chances are pretty slim that Aaron was a commando though. You’re not supposed to talk about it and if you talk about it, chances are you’re full of shit.

Hat tip to Jewlicious reader Andrew!

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About the author


Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.


  • Methinks the writer is using the word commando on his own and as a generic term.

  • commando+Britney=makes one think of something other than the IDF, no? Maybe, while going commando, Federline summoned an ex-Israeli named Aaron Cohen, and this is all a matter of poor word order/punctuation.

  • whats the problem? he served for 5 years, that’s more than the standard, which might imply that Cohen is good at protecting people.

    working for k-fed and harassing britney spears sounds like an awesome job to me. whats even funnier is that britney is paying for his salary.

  • I somehow doubt he was actually a commando… The Navy Commandos I know would never talk about it and they can get way better jobs than serving subpoenas. I am suggesting that Either Aaron Cohen is a liar or Kevin Federline’s lawyer is a liar OR whoever it was that reported this story has made an error.

  • If true, (I doubt it actually), he stands not a chance against this crazed shiksa. Nothing in his qualifications or training will prepare him for the miasma & misery that is the Pop Tart. It never does. This is why intermarriage is dangerous. Among other reasons… Cheers, ‘VJ’

  • ck hit the nail on the head. This is a narcissistic game the bloated egos of Hollywood music and movies have been playing for years. When any so-called A-lister or record mogul or whatever felt the least bit threatened, the first thing they did was surround themselves with guys with beards and Kippahs and Uzis and loudly pronounce their new bodyguards as “ex-Mossad”.

    There’s a whole cottage industry of supposed Mossad or IDF-trained (although many may be somewhat legitimately trained) bodyguards and personal security running around LA providing superior services to the damned souls who work in those industries. I just thought that after the recent events vis a vis Lebanon I’m just surprised they’re still in demand.

  • Stop mystifying the secret units!
    There’s absolutely no problem to tell any aquintance [i] where [/i] you served (ck, your comment is hilarious: “…the Navy Commandos I know would never talk about it…” – so how do YOU know where they served?! ). Also, not every coool unit graduate can find decent job – for that you need an education.
    This guy work sucks anyhow, whoever he is.

  • Lena: Good point. They are close and dear friends and have no problem telling me. But they wouldn’t tell a reporter or a babe in a bar. You know what i mean. And they don’t talk about it not because there’s a rule, but more likely because it’s not considered cool. And yes, you need an education and working as a bailiff sucks ass.