Ok, so we’re all a little tired of the cult of the female pop-rock starlet on self-destruct (w/debris oozing out of their minute coke-clogged pores) but kudos go again this week to Amy Winehouse, who rather than go the route of most of her predecessors and launch her own perfume line, had her road manager launch a line of whiskey as an homage to Winehouse.

The story goes something like this (some licenses taken with the paraphrasing): Amy gets crabby while on the road and is itching for a hit (either in the form of coke or her husband’s face). She calls her road manager into her van and says, “Yos, whaszup. Where’s me blow.” [insert Ali G-style curses and affectations] Whereupon her manager informs her not only is she out of the powder, but every form of alcohol known to man, woman, and superfreak. Amy, not happy, throws her empty bottle of JD at her manager. Fortunately, it hit the part of his head that’s responsible for extorting more money from his boss. He comes up with a brilliant idea: Market more witch brew, er, um in layman’s terms: Shut up the whiny, overly demanding diva.

To celebrate the launch of this new bourbon, Airborne, Amy was on hand to show her support. Namely do her trademark drunk man’s saunter on and off the stage, mutter profanities and aim some more whiskey bottles into the crowd, all in the name of self-promotion, not to mention brilliant marketing strategy, if I do say so myself…

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beth

21 Comments

  • Um, Beth, did you not read the disclaimer that this story is “entirely fictitious” at the end of the link? The fact that it’s on a site called “The Spoof” didn’t tip you off?

  • I’m with you Beth, whether it’s true or not, it’s brilliant marketing and kudos to her building her brand while she’s still on the radar. She’s no dumb shiksa Britney, remember she’s a M.O.T with a Yiddishe kup.

    Here’s my prediction: someday she will be rich enough and sober enough to open up not-for-profit rehabs to help young women around the country and to that I say “Thanks Amy and pour me a shot of Airborne!”

  • Is BD capable of doing anything but whining about Beth? Come on – I know you’re a cool guy. Chill out man! You can read more of Beth’s stuff at http://amaldo.com/ – it’s pop culture oriented and Winehouse is the noisiest Jewess around. C’est la vie!

  • ck, the auto-refresh took my comment and ran off with it to Vegas!

    Anyhow, what I was going to say was that since there obviously aren’t any pre-determined editorial sectioned assigned to the various contributors to this site, even if Beth chose to solely report on AW, it would be Beth’s choice. In addition, I was going to suggest that anybody who would like Beth to report on certain topics might want to consider offering her pay for that. I think that would just be fair.

  • I’m with you Beth, whether it’s true or not, it’s brilliant marketing and kudos to her building her brand while she’s still on the radar.

    This “story” comes from a humor site! I don’t understand what is so freaking complicated about this.

  • I wish that we wouldn’t hear about Winehouse ever on this site. She’s a disgusting representation of the Jewish people. For lack of a better term, she is the anti-christ, as he alcoholic, intermarrying, tatted up, Brittney-Spears-hating-yet-suprisingly-alike soon to be washed up singer.

    Why don’t we spend some time trying to find Jews that are WORTH taking a pop culture look at.

  • So I’ve reflected on this Winehouse thing, and I think I might have it.

    We have so many sccessful, intelligent and talented role models. We have role models in sports (Sean Greene, Bernie Kosar, Kevin Youkolis, Steve Levy), entertainment (Speilberg, Sammy Davis Jr., Jerry Seinfeld and well everyone), law (Ruth Bader Ginsburg), medicine (What do you call a jew thats not a lawyer or an accountant … Doctor), and education.

    We love Winehouse because she’s our Brittney Spears. She’s a trainwreck that we can call our own. We now are represented in all facets of American life! We truly have assimilated now that we have a white trash woman to call our own!

    Will wonders never cease!

  • When she’s a millionaire, Rabbis from all over the world will fly to her home to praise her while asking her for money to support their institutions and try to teach her a few mitzvahs.

    It takes all kinds of Jews to build a tribe Boomer. More importantly, it takes money.

    If this is her way of getting rich, so she can give back some day, who are you to criticize? Doctors don’t make nearly anywhere near the kind of money a rock star can make.

    She has time to be a role model when she’s older, for now she, let her have her fun.

    Bob Dylan did plenty of self-destructive things in his life and we are proud to call ours, no?

  • I think I would disagree Chutzpah, Doctors, over their lifespan, probably make a comparable amount of money to rock stars, and its a LOT easier to be a Doctor (yes, it is – you can control your own destiny wherein R&R there are tons of variables to count if you’ll rocket to stardom).

    Rockstars have shorter life spans, as well as careers, as the public taste changes eery few years. Look to 10 years ago, which bands are still popular?

    Also, don’t forget the power of association. There are only abgout 2% Jews in the world, which means that people have less opportunity to meet us, and we generally have a greater impact on their opinion of Jews as a whole. We should have a broader responsibility to the community.

    And I don’t like Bob so much, Yakob – a lot more so.

  • You are so freakin’ wrong Boomer….Doctors are the new Janitors in today’s economy. It is nearly impossible for them to make even 1/2 a million given what the insurance companies to do them.

    Yes, it is way easier to be a Doctor. You just have to grow up in Pakistan and go to private school and then medical school and take your board exams here.

    You should consider yourself lucky if you find a hospital that whose staff has any causcasian doctors, never mind Jewish doctors.

    Bruce Springsteen has been popular for over 30 years and is releasing a new album.

    When it comes to political fundraising , rock stars can buy and sell politicans alot easier than doctors. And who would even want their children to be a rock star when athletes make really make the most money.

    A broader responsiblity to the community than making people happy with music? I think Spielberg has covered all of us with making people happy with his movies.

    Like I said before, when the Gedolim need money they will call Bob Dylan whatever he wants to be called. Once Amy has her assets built up, they will be knockin on her door too…Isn’t that the whole idea of having Cohanim, Levim, and Israelites? Somebodies gotta work…for God Sakes it’s certainly not gonna be my landlord who sits in friggin’ kollel all day and can’t maintain his income producing tenament.

  • I’m not sure where you’re a doctor Chutz, but I’m a tax accountant, and I have many doctors that are making VERY good money.

    And since when is “even a half million” nothing? That’s more than 98% of the population is making on an annual basis? Sure the insurance companies are ruining healthcare due to free-market policies that encourage mitigation instead of cures, and they’re paying 60 – 90 days after service, but as Che (or maybe it was Evita) the money keeps rolling in from every side.

    Again, to find rock stars that are still popular now from even 10 years ago, the chances are probably 1 in 100. Springsteen, Rolling Stones, Aerosmith – all of these are the exception to the rule. Most bands fade into the masses or break up. Just think of Phish – a longstanding band where they finally got sick of each other!

    Anyway, you are right that the folks in long beards and black hats tend to migrate toward fallen stars like Amy (when she falls – hopefully sooner than later) to help pick up the pocketbook … I mean the pieces.

    It really reminds me of the sale of indulgences in the Middle Ages. The Catholic church sold its soul (and its stranglehold on religoin) because it needed to fund new cathedrals. Along came Luther an spurred the Protestant revolution.

    Oh well, may we live in interesting times.

  • Boomer, I am a former attorney and lapsed balas tshuva.

    I have dated every divorced and not-so-divorced Dr. in the State of NJ. Trust me, only Plastic Surgeons and Veterinarians make VERY good money. Everyone else makes good money from their practice and then parlays that money into stocks or real estate to make money.

    Rap Stars and Big-Time Drug Dealers make more than most Drs. receive from the practice of medicine.

    Half a million is nothing…go try to buy a house in Plifton and send 6 kids to Yeshiva on full tuition making 1/2 a million while paying $6.99 a pound for kosher chicken.

    Free-market policies is what keeps the quality of healthcare up in this country. Why do you think the rich in Israel pay American Doctors out of pocket…because socialized medicine turns out Drs who aren’t even the equivalent of the nurses we have in the U.S.

    Um: Cher, Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin and of course Sir Tom Jones are still raking in the bucks and packing the concert halls.

    Amy won’t fall…she’s got her name on a brand of Whiskey to keep her financially afloat.

    I don’t know anything about Lutheran or Prtotestants but I know a guy name Jesus came along when he witnessed too much corruption among the High Priests in the Bais HaMigdash.

    May Mashiach come speedily in our days…

  • Beth,
    Who would you rather date…a jewish medical student or hottie M.O.T. Felix Riebl of The Cat Empire. Remember, the Dr. will divorce you for a shiksa trophy wife by the time he hits 45 at the latest.
    Who do you think makes more money? Hottie Felix or indebted medical student?
    And most importantly…when are you going to give us some scoop on Riebl rather than just Winehouse (not that there’s anything wrong with that)? Any dirt on whether he is partaking in his share of screaming female fans, playing for the other team or loyal to just one woman?

  • Boomer, just a little clarification: before the great split through the Reformation, there only was one church – even Old Catholics and Orthodox count themselves as Catholics. The Reformation started on 31 October 1517, which already was during the Renaissance. So, the various original Protestant denominations stem from the Renaissance.

    Chutzpah, I think part of the consideration should also be whether one would enjoy groupie life rather than the life as a MD partner.

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