“Pantsuits as far as the eye could see.”

Jerusalem, March 8 – Close followers of sartorial fashion trends has harsh words for female lawmakers today, criticizing them for unattractive clothing choices in honor of International Women’s Day.

Fashion critics laced into the women who serve as role models, decrying their apparent lack of will to look their best and most fashion-forward, instead opting for plain or “professional-looking” attire that did nothing to draw positive attention to their appearance.

“It was just unsightly,” gagged Haaretz’s style columnist Skinn Dijp. “Not a single woman in the Knesset could muster a stylish outfit for the occasion. Here we have the whole world coming together to empower women, and these unfortunates show up in the frumpiest clothes you could imagine in such a setting. Is this what we want our girls growing up thinking a woman should do? I weep for the next generation.”

“I mean, a pantsuit?” she continued with a roll of her eyes. “What are we, Hillary Clinton? This is the best you can do? Really, we should be demonstrating our sense of style everywhere, to the point that reporters ask us who we’re wearing. What else could International Women’s Day possibly represent?”

“I cringed when I looked at Tzipi Livni,” confessed an agitated Bo Toks, who writes about fashion for Ynet. “There she was, glorying in the strides women have made, and how they are no longer seen only as arm candy, but she’s wearing this grey monstrosity that dos absolutely nothing for her figure. I mean, whom is she trying to convince?”

Ms. Toks aimed similar criticism at Minister of Justice Ayelet Shaked, whom she accused of wasting her good looks on looking “respectable” or “corporate.” “Shaked is an attractive woman, and that’s not something you go concealing behind slacks and a plain white button-down shirt.” Her lips curled into a frown. “Especially at her age. Goodness, what does she think she’s supposed to do with such a gift? A little black cocktail dress, a sleek gown of some sort – but that? I’m really disappointed.”

“Not a centimeter of cleavage in the whole room,” added Ms. Dijp. “Just pantsuits as far as the eye could see. Not that most of the women in the Knesset have the experience to pull off the right look – the only time Shelly Yachimovich has worn an actual skirt was in solidarity with the parliamentary aide skirt length protest. What an inappropriate way to mark International Women’s Day.”

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.