“That’s a disturbing indication of what’s wrong with our society.” Tel Aviv, March 20 – A troubling new study points to systemic discrimination in Israel so deep that...
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Palestinians OK With Being Pawns Because At Least That Way Somebody Touches Them
“Otherwise it means we’re totally ignored, unimportant, and who could accept the shame?” Ramallah, March 13 – Residents of refugee camps and areas under Palestinian self-rule...
I Wish More JAPs Were Gay
When I was in 9th grade, I joined B’nai Brith Girls, a pre-sorority for Jewish high school girls. I’m still not sure how this happened, but I fondly remember my baby queer self eating pretzels...
We Make Sure The Number Of Buns And Franks Don’t Match. We’re The Mossad.
By the Mossad Ever wonder why you always seem to have a different number of Tupperware containers from the number of lids? Or why hot dogs come in packages of 12 but hot dog buns come in packages of...
Palestinians Just One Hijacked Student Gov’t Meeting Away From Total Victory Over Zionism
Forecasts differ on the mechanism. Ramallah, February 27 – Excitement gripped the Palestinian street today after revelations that their national movement to destroy Israel and replace it with...
Researchers At Loss To Explain Who Actually Eats Hamantaschen
“We’re flummoxed,” admitted lead researcher Adi Loyada. Jerusalem, February 20 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science voiced bafflement today at the healthy sales...
Study Finds Right Distance At Which Friends Approaching Each Other Can Pretend Just Saw Each Other
It would otherwise be followed by weirdness as they continue to walk toward each other but have nothing more to say. Rehovot, February 13 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have...
Sarsour Assures Jews Polish Mass Murder Of Jews Not Systemic
“I am not going to sit here and be dictated to by those who are probably white, male, and non-Muslim about what I should be fighting.” New York, February 6 – A leading Muslim...