It’s really a shame, when you think about it. Three young Palestinian men are to be indicted tomorrow in Be’er Sheva for trying to open a factory. It was going to produce Kassem rockets, but so what? Don’t they deserve to establish an enterprise? Is it their fault they want to kill Jews and destroy Israel after all those martyrdom commercials the PA has been running for years?

Already however, there are rumors of support for the trio. Human rights organizations like Amnesty and Human Rights Watch are planning to petition foreign governments to arrest any visiting IDF officers involved in the tracking and arrest of these young men on the grounds that restricting economic development is a war crime.

James Wolfensohn, still smarting from that $500,000 he lost when the Palestinians destroyed the greenhouses left behind by the settlers, is fresh from attacking Israel for keeping the Gaza border closed for – of all ridiculous reasons – security purposes. Now he has gotten a group of donors all lined up, not to mention the EU and the Quartet, and together they plan to petition the Israeli government to stop backtracking on its forward movement toward peace with the disengagement by arresting these businesspeople. How are Palestinians supposed to make a living, these fine diplomats ask, if one undermines their business infrastructure?

Thomas Friedman, writing in the NY Times, praises Arafat and his leadership prior to his death and reminds his readers that under Arafat’s rule – unlike that of the current wuss, Abbas – Palestinians were very successful at building Kassem rocket factories.

Best of all, it is rumored that the newly-wed wife of Yigal Amir, who allegedly married him in some sort of weird long-distance ceremony accepted by a bunch of very odd rabbis who don’t quite mind Amir’s murder of Yitzhak Rabin, has indicated that since the Prison Service refuses her conjugal visits with Yigal, she may seek to divorce him and marry one of the enterprising Palestinians. Apparently the Prison Service is less averse to them enjoying conjugal visits since they did not murder an Israeli PM. It is unknown how the rabbis will respond this time since no PM has been murdered. Furthermore, Amir has been overheard screaming, “A get?! A get?! Never! I’ll shoot you in the back first!”

On the other hand, there are voices in Israel speaking up on the entrepreneurs’ behalf already. After hearing how the three Palestinians smuggled themselves out of Gaza, bribed Egyptian soldiers, snuck into Israel with their manuals and some basic elements of bomb-making, and managed to evade the IDF for a few hours, the CEO of a major Israeli bank was overheard saying, “Kassem, shmassem, those three would make terrific associates and I plan to hire them. Let them convert Kassems into investment banking research!” An aide was overheard reminding the CEO that the verse actually said “swords into plowshares,” but the impatient CEO – a graduate of a well-regarded management program of an ivy league school – reminded the young man that anybody who still farms is a sucker (“fryer”).

Rumor is that some of the million Palestinians left back in Gaza plan to try again with a different factory. In the meantime, some are planning to kidnap Israelis so the government will exchange this trio. The goal, of course, is to revive the moribund Palestinian economy.

Reporters Without Borders has condemned Ha’aretz for referring to the three prodigies as “radicals.”

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  • Israel has become a laughingstock, a pathetic country. The only hope it has to survive, is to become brutal again, as it once was.

  • so if these lofty organizations care about the palestinian economy so much, why didn’t they do anything helpful before? why are people so concerned with the palestinians’ “rights” to build weapons not doing anything to contribute to their ability to build less dangerous things? does the world truly believe that palestinians can’t do anything but fight? and don’t we know how to do anything with a problem too complex to be solved by throwing money at it? i say set up an international organization to provide training to palestinians in skills that are useful in peacetime so the economy can develop without dependence on war. it’s not surprising that the palestinians aren’t doing great things with the money they’ve been given, considering they don’t have any other resources. example: a bunch of exiles with nothing can’t do much even with money. a bunch of doctors and engineers can use money to build a hospital. create a generation of educated palestinians, and there will be the resources to put money to good use.

  • Folks, I apologize if this was confusing, but aside from the link to the actual news story, everything else in the post is a fabrication. I know it seems real, and that’s my point, but I’m just kidding. To my knowledge Yigal Amir’s wife still loves him and isn’t leaving; Tom Friedman did not write about these three; and human rights organizations are not yet so blind that they would fight on behalf of these criminals as long as the Israeli justice system treats them fairly – which, as usual, it is.

  • Litui, I don’t think it went over your head, I think the fault lies with the author. When you try a joke and the audience doesn’t laugh, chances are you’re not funny, not that the audience is dumb. I take full responsibity. Then again, the absurd BS up there sounds true because the situation is so ridiculous.

  • Well, I believed it… it sounded plausible because, like you said, the situation has gotten so out of hand.

  • Valid post if you ask me. Take a drive not to far from my home and you can see in the same view grand Palestinian hillside mansions and family apartment buildings as well as grungy simple square-box cement homes.

    The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and it is Israel’s fault of course. :-]

  • Talking about humour, how come Jewlicious still gives space to Jewschool, yet Jewschool doesn’t even recognize jewlicious anymore. Sorry for the off topic, the three masked halloween partygoers in the picture reminded me of the leftist commandoes revered on the ex-sister blog.

  • It is a very sad state of affairs when reality has become so absurd that satire has difficulty topping it.

  • Thomas Friedman, writing in the NY Times, praises Arafat and his leadership prior to his death and reminds his readers that under Arafat’s rule – unlike that of the current wuss, Abbas – Palestinians were very successful at building Kassem rocket factories.

    Huh? Is this the same Thomas Friedman that wrote this piece blasting Arafat for being corrupt and useless? Which article are you talking about, exactly?

  • Nevermind, I just read themiddle’s comment about the entire post being a fabrication.

  • Well, actually, Ari, Friedman does have to answer for the fact that his book “From Beirut to Jerusalem” (or is it From Jerusalem to Beirut?) excoriated Sharon as a wild, hateful, violent person while essentially kissing up to the heroic revolutionary Palestinian savior, Arafat.

    I have no deep love for Friedman.

  • funny you should mention that mr middle, I read friedman’s book this summer, and I couldn’t disagree with you more on your interpretation of his character assessments. Someone can correct me if I am wrong, but if I recall, he describes Arafat as a shrewd politician and master manipulator who knows how to play both sides of the table.
    He goes on to to describe Sharon as a pragmatic man who sees nothing wrong with playing by arab rules as a means to an end.

    Your opinion of Friedman as a fundamentalist leftist sympathizer is unwarranted. He very much beleives that Israel is significantly less responsible than other arab states for the plight of the Palestinans, however, he also believes that as a Jewish state, Israel has a responsibility to act in a moral way that surpasses that of its neighbors.
    I hear the argument far too often “Yes, Israel has its problems, but how can the world criticize us while at the same time ignoring serious human rights injustices in other parts of the world”.

    The answer is because Jews have a responsibility to be the moral beacon that other nations look up to. It says as much somewhere in the torah apparently, I should probably look it up…

  • Eyal, we don’t disagree on Israel’s responsibilites but that has little to do with the hypocrisy of others where they feel comfortable attacking Israel for matters that are acceptable or go unmentioned with others.

    I actually don’t see Friedman as a fundamentalist Leftie sympathizer. I consider him much more of a centrist and I do agree with many of his assessments. Having said that, my impression of From Beirut to Jerusalem is very clear on him being a wide-eyed youngish reporter who was smitten with the entire secretive revolutionary leader posture he got from Arafat. He describes Sharon as far more than pragmatic. Being a good military leader, as Sharon is described, is not what Friedman thinks of him but rather that he is a man of violence who will inflict it in ways that are over the top.

  • I cant believe this website!
    u guys are dirty whores u know that!
    FUCK U