Hamas Alone - coming to a theatre near you this ramadan
Don’t ever say that we at Jewlicious don’t bring you breathtaking and breaking news. Hat tip to Ynetnews.com for this one.

That’s right, that fine anti-Israel British paper, The Guardian, informs us that Hamas is actually threatening violence againt Israelis.

I know, I know, chances are you have just fainted from the shock and are convinced that the reporter on this article is deserving of a Pulitzer or whatever its European equivalent for digging up this hidden gem of a story.

In short,

Hamas declared a ceasefire more than a year ago and has renewed it for another year. But Mahmoud Ramahi, Hamas’s spokesman in the Palestinian parliament, said Palestinians had the right to renew hostilities within the West Bank if the occupation continued, although he ruled out a renewal of suicide attacks within Israel. Such attacks were part of a policy of retaliation for the killing of Palestinian civilians by the Israeli army, a policy which had now ended, he said.

Just so we are clear on this, not only is The Guardian reporting this story under News instead of Humor, but they are actually quoting the justification of suicide bombings as retaliation for killing of Palestinian civilians, a bald-faced lie. Still, the point is that that if one reads the article, Hamas is threatening violence if the “occupation” continues, and is threatening violence if Israel takes unilateral moves to remove itself from most of the West Bank. Also, they don’t recognize Israel but that’s not an issue, they say, because Mahmoud Abbas is able to talk to Israel and therefore can negotiate for the Palestinians even if the party in charge of the government won’t even recognize them.

It all makes sense now.

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  • Further evidence, as if more were needed, that Hamas’s victory is one of the best things that ever happened to Israel.

  • We should be pitching this idea to Israeli television: the story of Little Mahmoud who is left alone while his parents go to attack the Zionists – a comedy.

    We can also do Ahmed Bueller, where little Ahmed skips school so he can go off with his friends and throw rocks at Zionist soldiers. One of the friends, of course, will have some sort of teen anxiety attack and throw a Molotov Cocktail, for which he’ll be reprimanded by the school’s principal for not targeting Israeli civilians with a bomb instead. A barrel of laughs, I tell you.

  • In truth, this week’s comic highlight from the Middle East was Charlie Rose’s interview with Bashir Assad, in which that worthy went to hugely entertaining lengths to avoid admitting the Holocaust took place.

  • He’s one freaky-lookin’ dude, too. How he ended up with that babe of a wife, I don’t know.

  • You mean the chinless Dorktator, right, Tom?

    His wife is hot? You got pix?

    I think I may agree with you, but could you elaborate on why you think Hamas is the best thing to happen to Israel in a while? Is it because it finally makes it possible for people to stop fooling themselves?

  • Ephraim– in a nutshell, sure. Every day seems to bring further evidence that Hamas doesn’t know what it’s doing. They even seem to be losing the Guardian left– no small blow to their cause. And hard to do. (Arafat, we recall, kept them on board with his endless appeals to the ‘international community.’)

    I know the Hitler analogy is maybe too facile, but if Hamas consulted their WWHD (What Would Hitler Do) bracelets, they’d be smart enough to launch an all-out charm offensive. Remember Hitler’s friendship treaties with his eastern neighbors in the 30s? And how he morphed into a sober, responsible statesmen, impressing the likes of Chamberlain and attracting a fair number of fellow-travelers?

    So far, Hamas seems to be pretty good at violence and lousy at politics, wouldn’t you agree?

  • Tsk, tsk, ck. It looks like Khalil’s family member on the far right of the four pictures inset to the movie poster is wearing a keffiyeh indicative of his affiliation with PFLP, not Hamas. Or is this a movie with an ‘intermarriage’ subplot?

  • Yeah, Tom, I agree. If they had any sense, they would lie through their teeth to their stooges in the West, just like Arafat did. Since they so desperately want to be fooled, they would swallow it. Hell, even when Hamas says “Death to Israel” they’ve still got dupes trying to parse their statements so as to convince people that they don’t really mean it.

    However, Hamas is a group of religious fanatics, not bazaar hagglers like Arafat and Co. They obviously feel that since Allah is on their side they don’t need anyone else. It really does clarify things, though. If they really put their foot in it, which should happen any day now, it may give Israel the diplomatic leeway to lower the boom.

  • Why should they dissemble?

    Funding? The Europeans and Russians are eager to take up any slack in funding due to America’s turning off the taps.

    Standing? Two decades of propaganda have successfully shifted public opinion in Europe and in Blue-State America to the point where Muslim intimidation and terror attacks on their own soil don’t give them a moment’s doubt about the received wisdom of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

    Israel? There are no more concessions to be made, and the Israelis are so obviously tired and p-whipped that there is no longer any need.

    Why bother being nice? That was for stage 1.

  • Ephraim, it’s certainly ironic that Hamas suffers from the disability of sincerity. (The virtue of the fanatic, I suppose.) A little more cynicism, and maybe ruthless, charismatic leadership, might be more helpful to them, now that they’ve achieved power.