Well, the Federation has some different ideas, such as simply not engaging the proselytizer other than to say that you are happy with your Judaism. They are pros, so I would not question their advice. However, you may be, like me, enamored with debate, in which case I urge you to consider the following if you happen to get a phone call or a knock on your door from these nasty fiends who would like to destroy the Jewish people:
1. Remember, their time is valuable, particularly if it’s a phone call or door visit. For every moment of their time you waste, the likelihood of their calling on somebody else diminishes.
2. Remember, all those tell-tale signs they try to use to show that you-know-who was the Jewish Messiah were written long after the originals were written. In other words, the guys who wrote that you-know-who fulfills the fundamentals of how the Jewish Messiah iis supposed to arrive did it with the original books open right in front of them. Now how difficult is it to say that so and so fulfilled all the criteria when you are writing with hindsight?
3. Remember, Jesus was a Jew and he lived and died as a Jew. No matter how many times they deny this or try to quote a Gospel saying he rejected Judaism, just remind them that he lived and died as a Jew. Then remind them he would roll over in his grave if he knew the things that have been ascribed to him and the things that have been done in his name, particularly to the descendants of his Jewish faith.
4. Remember, chances are the person calling you was never Jewish, in which case he really isn’t one to tell you about your faith. However, some are converts from Judaism who had a weak link to Judaism in the first place and were vulnerable to misinformation. Gently but persistently remind them that they would be well served to visit Chabad or Aish, where the rabbi will accept them as Jews and will re-introduce them to true Judaism. Keep telling them to “Come home to your true faith.” 🙂
5. Remember to have fun and not to be hostile. After all, they are either confused little puppies, or else they’re mendacious sickening little manipulators. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be trying to convert you. As such, they need to be treated gently (the puppies) or with the type of smarmy charm they are trying to use on you that will encourage the mendacious ones to think their time is well spent talking on and on to you.
6. If they waver about leaving their Christianity – which they will continue to call Judaism – remind them that the Jewish Lobby is all-powerful and refer them to that paper by those meanies, Walt & Mearsheimer. Why struggle as an impoverished false Jew when you can be the real thing and, you know, control global finance and stuff. If they persist in claiming that Jews don’t really control the world, the US, global finance, the media and everything else, call them antisemites and tell them they should be ashamed of their hate for Jews. 😀
Here’s the original article about the pending campaign to turn you into a non-Jew.
UPDATE: Marvin, one of our guests also suggests:
I usually start by asking their names, ages and addressesâ€¦.I write this down in front of them.. I then let them get on with their â€œsales pitchâ€â€¦ during which I scratch my balls and laugh loudlyâ€¦. suprisingly this does not put them offâ€¦ very well trainedâ€¦
After the sales pitch I tell them that I was about to take a shower and ask if they would like to join meâ€¦this actually sends them awayâ€¦