“I predict many fewer such sponsorships, and an overhaul of the way Marketing approaches its mission.”

Shittim, Plains of Moab, July 10 – A prominent player in the financial sector canceled its monetary support today for a retaliatory Israelite campaign against an enemy nation, following revelations that the victorious army took numerous women and children captive.

Barclays PLC announced Tuesday that it has withdrawn sponsorship of the Israelite war on Midian, as it does not wish to associate its brand with slavery and trafficking in women, according to a company spokesman.

Avery von Duzzett, a vice president of marketing at the firm, told reporters that while Barclays agreed to provide finding to the Israelites in exchange for visibility in associated materials, it did not anticipate that the campaign in response to Midianite provocation would go beyond slaughter and venture into enslavement.

“These developments go against our corporate culture and values, and effective immediately, Barclays is canceling its sponsorship,” he declared. “We do not endorse, and have never endorsed, human trafficking, at least not publicly, unless the profit to be had is more compelling than our projected image. I mean, we have families to feed and limousines to replace.”

The arrangement had Barclay’s logos appearing on shields, banners, and other battlefield materiel in the Israelite camp, in addition to promotional brochures sent to the families of soldiers and included in care packages that Israelites could send to soldiers at the front through the company website. Barclays had hoped to leverage the sponsorship to launch a new slogan, “Fighting for Your Prosperity,” that, according to Barclays insiders, appears in retrospect to reflect poor taste and even worse judgment, in light of the types of wealth that the Israelite raiders carried back to the Plains of Moab.

“It was probably a mistake to get mixed up in such an episode to begin with,” conceded a senior executive who requested anonymity. “Our marketing department thought it was a sure thing to side with the victims of an orgy-induced plague, but evidently did not consider all the eventualities and ramifications. I predict many fewer such sponsorships, and an overhaul of the way Marketing approaches its mission.”

“We will, however, continue to support a series of concerts by notable antisemite Roger Waters,” he added. “That does dovetail with our corporate culture and values.”

Sources in the Israelite camp reported that the nation’s leader Moses reacted with similar dismay to the capture of so many Midianite women and girls, and ordered all the non-virgins among the captives put to death by the sword.

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.


  • Dont slander moses the great, your torah and your stupid talmud is full of lies, twisting the words of great prophets

    moses himself had a dark skinned non jewish wife, he never considered non jewish people to be cattle, thats on your low life lying rabbis

    and he made you wander the desert for 40 years because most of you people were scumbags who didnt deserve the holyland

    the talmud contains gems such as dog shit being a cure for epilepsy

    i wonder which rabbi ate dog shit and decided it cured epilepsy

  • the talmud is a giant pile of nonsense, calling it excrement would be an insult to excrement since it serves a function in nature

    jews on the other hand……….

    “If a ‘goy’ (Gentile) hits a Jew he must be killed.” (Sanhedrin 58b)

    * “If a Jew finds an object lost by a ‘goy’ it does not have to be returned.” (Baba Mezia 24a)

    * “If a Jew murders a ‘goy’ there will be no death penalty.” (Sanhedrin 57a)

    * What a Jew steals from a ‘goy’ he may keep.” (Sanhedrin 57a)

    * “Jews may use subterfuges to circumvent a ‘goy.’” (Baba Kamma 113a)

    * “All children of the ‘goyim’ (Gentiles) are animals.” (Yebamoth 98a)

    * “Girls born of the ‘goyim’ are in a state of ‘niddah’ (menstrual uncleanness!) from birth.” (Abodah Zarah 36b)

    this is just the tip of the iceberg your sick rabbis believe in

  • I’m curious…..If you hate Jews so much why are you bothering to visit and post on a Jewish website?

    Don’t you have anything to do with your time? Well, I guess living in your parents’ basement would leave a $%^& like you with plenty of time on your hands, so I withdraw the question.