Officials declined to elaborate on the mechanism by which American youth have been made to think ingesting poisonous soap is an acceptable pastime. Tel Aviv, January 16 – Section heads at...
Author - PreOccupied Territory
We Need Another War With Israel As Cover For Killing Rivals
By Yahya Sinwar, Hamas Leader It’s been more than three years since we last provoked a war that killed thousands and left tens of thousands more homeless. One can debate the merits or timing of...
God Amused At Your Optimism That 2018 Will Be Better Than 2017
The situation isn’t going to improve just because people are resetting their calendars. Eden, January 2 – Heavenly sources reported this evening that the Creator and Ruler of the Universe...
Poll: Hearing American-Accented Hebrew Worse Than Getting Stabbed
Even the minority of non-American respondents who did not liken hearing American-accented Hebrew to having one’s toenails pulled out with pliers nevertheless rated the experience as negative...
Twitter Monitoring Temperature Of Hell For Sign When To Ban...
A spokesman sought to reassure concerned users that the Hell-temperature-monitoring mechanism would not fall prey to unscrupulous manipulations. San Francisco, December 19 – New safety rules in...
Netanyahu Agrees To Make Israel Socialist, Bans Opposition...
The prime minister gave a specific nod to Socialist Venezuela, where the opposition has been similarly banned. Jerusalem, December 13 – Bowing to ongoing criticism from the left of...