By Urgh We doff our rotting caps to it. People make a big fuss over zombies rising from the grave and menacing the living, but at least you can kill a zombie again with the right equipment. Our...
Author - PreOccupied Territory
Man Surprised ‘Jewish Values’ Not A Term For Low, Low Prices
“Every Jew I know, I guess mostly through work, is kind of an ace in finance,” he explained in a telephone interview. Bronxville, NY, February 8 – A local resident with little...
UFO Enthusiasts Call Palestinian Unity Government Too Far-Fetched
“Talk about an unhealthy obsession.” Boise, Idaho, February 1 – Groups of devotees to the notion of extraterrestrial visitors secretly visiting Earth, and whose presence has been...
Monster In Kahlon’s Closet Demands More Sweet, Sweet Tears Of Shrinking Middle Class
If unfed for too long, report observers, the monster lashes out by causing social unrest and terrorism Jerusalem, January 18 – The creature lurking in Minister of Finance Moshe Kahlon’s...
Military Court Convicts David Of Murder For Killing Disarmed, Wounded Goliath
Advocates for David called the move excessive, and criticized Israelite media for making the family of the slain Goliath into the victims of the incident. Elah Valley, January 12 – A panel of...
Moses Switches To Quill, Parchment After WordPress Scores ‘Readability’ Low
“I write in Biblical Hebrew, which doesn’t even use vowel markings, let alone periods or commas,” he explained. Mount Horeb, January 4 – The Israelite lawgiver known as Moses...
Your College Application Is Missing The Essay On How You Will Badly Disguise Your Antisemitism As Anti-Zionism
The committee just wants to see you know how to organize your thoughts and express them in a coherent fashion. By Audrey McAuliffe, High School Guidance Counselor Alex, I see you’ve filled out...
Germany To Restrict Movement Of Undocumented Trucks
“This society cannot allow its safety to be undermined by the actions of such vehicles.” Berlin, December 21 – Following the murder of 12 people and the injury of dozens more when a...